You know what makes writing so special? What makes it so special is the connection that hails from the words you share. Relating to one another is such a compelling attribution that we seriously long for. Nobody likes feeling alone, and nobody wants to feel alone.
When you’re so consumed with how you feel, you forget that others have felt, will have felt, and are feeling what you’re feeling. On anything really. Not just relationships. So when you narrow it down to only you, it can get a little lonely. As if you’re with yourself on this one. Trying to relate to others, and having others relate to you is one of the best fix me ups. So keep that pretty little mind set of yours on track, and when things seem to get in the way, you’re going to have to push them out with a little effort. And seriously try to remember, someone has felt what you’re feeling, someone will feel what you’re feeling, and someone is currently experiencing what you are feeling.
More importantly, the reason for this post, is the stories I’ve been so lucky to hear from some very special people; the readers. You all are very fascinating people, each with your own story. Your own story; the continuous series of events that make up your story. You all house something very special; and it’s experiences.
This post is about you and your stories. Thank you again, seriously, thank you so much for being so brave and sharing these experiences with me. I cherish your thoughts, I cherish your words, and I cherish your bravery for letting an outsider in.
Readers with stories on “Not Playing Hard To Get-Just Not Ready To Be Gotten”:
“This is going to sound a little harsh, but I did what you’re doing, taking time to yourself and finding out who you are. And I don’t regret a single minute of it, but along the way I missed a chance with a girl I was, and am still seriously interested in. When she was ready for me, I wasn’t ready for her. And now that I’m ready for her, she isn’t ready for me. She told me in a fair way that it wasn’t the right time. And I accepted it. Held my emotions inside and waited for the right chance…almost 2 years later, and that chance hasn’t come. Like I said, this is going to sound harsh, but I hope the guy she’s been dating for those two years f*cks everything up so I can clean up the mess and catch her….but at the same time I wish that she will live happily, and that her life will move forward.” -Jacob, 25
“Truth is, It’s not selfish to focus on your own happiness. Because, ultimately you decide your destiny and you decide what makes you happy. Trends these days have so many young couples mistaking temporary thrills and spurts of happiness and convincing themselves that they’re soul-mates. Creating a now or never mentality, rushing unprepared to the next steps. Granted this is not always a mistake, I admit, but it seems more often than not, that those who jump the gun on the next steps in life tend to face avoidable issues had they kept patience and an open mindset. It’s absolutely 10000000% fact that you cannot love another unless you love yourself. People settle, accept unhealthy norms for the sake of simply being comfortable. That’s where people mess up, unhealthy norms becoming acceptable. I was in a 5 year relationship and had come to accept the unhealthy norm and didn’t realize the true physical, emotional, and psychological toll it was taking on her and I. I ended things with her just about 4 months ago and it was so very difficult. I miss her as a human I cared so deeply for, and I miss the good memories which I believe is important – Understanding the difference. Being apart from someone you once spent everyday with will hurt regardless, but remembering all of the bad and unhealthy times that lead to separation are necessary to keep yourself searching for true happiness. I’m ranting on here over nonsense but basically what I’m saying is your post is amazingly on point. I’m doing me, still unsure of my future and uncertain of where my happiness lies but I know with time I will find it. Patience. I hate it, but I must harvest it! Thanks again for the post. It reminded me of why I am where I am today.” -Seth, 24
“I found myself nodding in agreement at a lot of what you had to say because it’s so easy to relate to as a college student. Sometimes it seems like it is inevitable to get lost in the sea of people just doing what they are expected to do and not worrying about the most important person, themselves.” -Jessica, 22
Readers with stories on “Heartbreak Hotel”:
“I thought my feelings for him would pass and that still hasn’t happened. Years have past, and I still can’t get him off my mind, and I regret the day I let him go. I let him go because I knew we were never right for each other. I did the right thing, but I still feel deeply wounded and regret letting him go. This may sound a little dramatic, but it was one of the saddest days of my life, and I have never felt feelings this strong about anyone else since. So Katie, all I ask is that you be careful. You asked for heartbreak in your post, and I just want you to know how shitty this whole heartbreak thing gets. Like I said, it’s been years since my heart has been broken, and it is still aching.” -Lauren, 25
“Heartbreak seriously is the biggest b*tch..and maybe we’re lucky to feel and experience it, but yeah, it sucks. But you know what stomps those feelings and makes it all worth it? Is coming out of heartbreak, and breaking its shell. Letting that person, and that relationship go is what I like to call the counteractive force.” -James, 24
“I was with someone that was so selfish, and so self-centered..he was everything I didn’t want in a partner, but I couldn’t see it because I was in love with him. I don’t even know how I fell in love with him, it just kind of happened. Love really does make you blind. I only focussed on the better personality traits he had, and completely blocked out the dangerous ones. He took advantage of how I felt for him, and after we broke up, I was still really sad, and really heartbroken. Even when you don’t want to be with that person, you can still be sad about it, because your vision of who you wished they were, wasn’t a reality.” Annie, 25
“I feel okay for telling you this, even though I don’t know you all too well, I trust you. Something tells me I can trust you. I’ve only told my sister, and my cousin about this, and now you. Although I’m in a relationship, and have been for the past 7 months, I still miss my ex-boyfriend. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about him at least once a day. Sometimes, I even miss him the most when my current boyfriend and I are sharing a special moment. It’s awful. Really, really awful. I know I should break up with him, but it’s the kind of heartbreak where I can’t be alone. I need someone to care for me. And it is so very selfish, and probably makes me a bad person. But for right now, I’ll take feeling like a bad person over feeling dangerously heartbroken. Just because I’m not alone, doesn’t mean I’m not lonely……I miss him.” -Anonymous, 26
“He’s breaking up with me because he loves someone else and all I want to say to him is ‘You can barely commit to one person properly and you’re telling me that you’ve fallen in love with a girl you’ve known for 3 months. Well, I’m sorry, but you haven’t and I refuse to accept the fact that you might.” Samantha, 23